you might be wondering why it is so quiet on the blog. despite my promises to be more active and to post more. this is the reason:
these photos were taken last year in september. when my sister and i spent a weekend in paris to see U2. just the two of us.
back then, all’s right with the world.
about two months later they discovered a tumor in her pancreas. she has been complaining about stomach aches for more than half a year. in january this year they removed it by surgery. that kind of surgery you do not choose to go through if there is no need to do so. it was unreal.
but she made it. a few months later you would not sense what she went through earlier in the year. life was almost back to normal. she even spent two months in england to do research for her master thesis. then last month during a regular check-up, they found a dark spot on her liver. a metastasis. it was a smash in the face.
she is back in hospital now and had another surgery. and even another one within two weeks because they found out they had overlooked a second metastasis on the other end of her liver. so i shuttle between hamburg, bielefeld and marburg. i work at the café to have money to pay my rent and the travel to support my sister. right now, i neither have time nor mind for anything else but my little sister. therefore i cancelled photo jobs, defer phone calls, mailings, website updates etc. i pretty much put my business on hold. there are things in life that are more important. my sister is one.
and while i am writing this, my friends and family over in minnesota (and other places) are celebrating thanksgiving. and i still give thanks too. after all that mess that life has given me and my family. (believe it or not, there is even more.) but i am grateful that my baby sister is alive and fighting. i am thankful that the doctors were concerned enough when she complained about stomach pain. i am thankful that she got a fever and instead of releasing her from hospital they discovered that they had overseen a second metastasis. early enough to operate again. i am grateful that she has friends that support her. i am grateful that she is so strong.
these are the times in life when polite wording just doesn’t do it. when it is neccessary to say the truth out loud. unpolished.
cancer is an asshole. there, i said it.
and these are also the times when life makes you wonder if there really is a god.
i have no doubt. i even believe that mama and papa up there tell him he can’t have their little girl. not yet. because we are the kroll family. and we are tough girls. we know how to fight. thank god.